How To Get Agreement From Someone Saying No

by Dr. Rick Kirschner on July 1, 2009

Negative person raining on everyone's parade Riddle me this.

What pattern works as well with a negative person at work as it does with a two year old at home? The Polarity Pattern!

Riddle me another one.  What do you get when you tell a two-year-old to go to bed when the older kids are still up?   A polarity response!

The conversation descends along these lines.  You ask a person to do something.  You ask nicely.  You are reasonable.  And then they say,  “I don’t want to (do something that you want me to do)  To which you reply, “But you have to do it.”   And it’s straight downhill from there.

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Difficult Behavior – What To Do With Negative People

by Dr. Rick Kirschner on June 29, 2009

siggyonair2-copySo what to do about negative energy, particularly when it’s directed at you?  Well, I agree with those who say that if you find your energy is drained around certain people, it makes no sense to be around them unless you absolutely have to.  And in the case of my passive agressive letter writer, I considered that letter in the context of all the feedback I had gotten, instead of giving it more credit for accuracy than it deserved.

And there’s the rub. In life, we are sometimes required to hang out around people that are very different than ourselves. And the reality, to me, is that if I find someone ‘draining’ on my energy, that’s not about that person, that’s about my response to that person. I’d rather solve the problem where it is instead of where it isn’t. That means cutting out the middle man and changing my response. 

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Difficult Behavior – Negative or Realistic?

by Dr. Rick Kirschner on June 26, 2009

siggyonair2-copyWe’re talking about what to do with negative people.  I’m saying maybe it’s not them that’s draining you, maybe it’s you draining you by trying so hard to be upbeat when they’re around.  All that focus on your mood takes you away from what is going on in the real world, all around you, all the time.    

I had enough of the ‘me-me-me’ stuff in the 80s. There is more to life than being positive all the time, more possibility than what’s available when you surround yourself with people who walk like, talk like, act like you do, or like you want them to do.

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Difficult Behavior – Negative People Better Than Positive?

by Dr. Rick Kirschner on June 24, 2009

siggyonair2-copyWe’re talking about negative people and what to do about them.  Should you shun them, the way a Klingon warrior shuns a Klingon who has been disgraced?  Or avoid them?  Or try to talk them into being positive? 

There’s a popular thought among the positive thinking crowd that you should only surround yourself with positive people in life.  I have to say that, at the core of my being, I disagree with that idea. 

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Difficult Behavior – Should You Avoid Negative People?

June 22, 2009

I have a number of friends and acquaintances who refer to negative people in some very negative ways. I’ve heard them called Energy Vampires that suck the life out of your marrow. I’ve heard them called wet blankets who smother your hope in hopelessness. And I’ve heard them accused of raining on everyone’s parade and ruining everything just by being around.

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How To Change The Way You Deal With Difficult People

June 19, 2009

Back in the late 1980s, I regularly presented a program for CareerTrack Inc., which was then the largest and most successful training company in the world, on the subject of ‘How To Deal With Difficult People.’  
I loved the humor potential of the topic, first and foremost.  This was evident to anyone who attended, and [...]

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Can Self-Persuasion Be A Recipe For Financial Disaster?

June 17, 2009

GUEST POST TODAY! I did a radio interview with financial consultant Marc Pearlman of YourMoneyMattersRadio.com a few months back, and today, I’m giving him the microphone on my blog! Marc is going to tell you how to protect yourself from self-persuasion when it comes to financial decisions. Without further ado, here’s Marc!

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What To Do If You Don’t Like Being Teased – Life Skills

June 15, 2009

This post is about teasing, and specifically, what to do if you have a hard time with it. First, let me tell you, I empathize. I grew up a thin skinned boy. I got my feelings hurt, took everything personally, and got rubbed the wrong way on way too many occasions. I got past it, and so can you. You can even learn to like it! And you probably should.

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